Indian Summer

Since we're already talking about sheep today....

At my visit with Dad today, this "Indian Summer" warmth allowed us to be outside in the sunshine. I told him that TJ is memorizing Psalm 23, did he know that one and would he like to say it with me? I started out slowly, "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures..."
Dad interrupts me here and says in a firm, clear voice, "Speaking of lying down, I need to go lie down!" It made me chuckle!!! :)

Devotion from "Our Daily Bread" October 21, 2009

"We may well be dismayed at what life has for us this year and next, but our Shepherd knows the way we're taking. And He goes before. He will not lead us down paths too dangerous or too arduous where He cannot help us. He knows our limits. He knows the way to green pasture and good water; all we have to do is follow."

John 10:4 "When he brings out his own sheep, he goes before them; and the sheep follow him."

Be thankful "IN"...

I Thess. 5:18 IN all Circumstances, give thanks. (Not necessarily FOR all circumstances but IN all...)

Dad has Alzheimer's. Am I thankful FOR that? No, but even IN his disease, I am thankful that he seems to have gotten over this latest infection without hospitalization. He is back to sitting up in the wheelchair, wearing "street" clothes (not a hospital gown) and even taking his meals in the dining room, rather than being fed in his room. The fever is gone and he is eating again.

I am thankful that we can still hear Dad's voice sometimes. The time for Dad to initiate any conversation is over, but he will still answer questions! I am also thankful that he still knows us. Today when Mom greeted him, he voiced relief, "I am so glad you are home!" He still knows that he belongs with his bride!

Brothers

2007 was the last year that Dad was able to make it to the family reunion. Uncle Joe gave me this picture of him and Dad overseas, most likely Japan, as that was where Dad was stationed. The date on the back of the photo says August, 1955.
Joseph Hershel Ferguson died September 23, 2009.

Grief

Grief is a strange thing, mourning the passing of a loved one comes in unpredictable stages and phases. How does grief affect someone with dementia? That is the unanswerable question. Dad has suffered two loses within one week, his mother-in-law, Iva Berkheimer, has reached her heavenly home after 96 years. And Dad's oldest living brother, Joseph Hershel Ferguson, has passed away in California. As Dad has commented countless times, "we are going down the valley one by one."

Mystery

Today's visit is another reminder to me that the brain (and this disease) is a mystery. I am cautiously optimistic whenever I visit and see that Dad is alert and verbal. He was sitting up in his old recliner and my mind tried to fool itself into thinking that nothing was wrong with Dad, from this snapshot in my mind's eye. Today he actually called out for Carly (calling her "Goldilocks" just like old times). Before today (in my visits for over a month), he hasn't initiated any conversation. I didn't think that he still could! He heard mom say something about "chat" and he stopped her and said, "who had an attack?" If my conclusions are correct, his brain is slowing down to the point that it takes him so long to formulate a response to a question and while he is processing it, he loses concentration or forgets what he wants to say. So why did he have NOTHING to say when his nephew Randy visited two and a half weeks ago? (In the entire two hours, Dad might have said his name once.) And today he comes up with "Now my kids are all here. When the kids are all here, everything is OK." I just have to be thankful to have these short sentences from him and not try to figure out what makes him better on some days than others--that will remain a mystery.