As my brother has said so many times when trials come, “Most often the life lessons are for those loved ones gathered around the bedside watching.” God is a big God; there’s a lesson in here for us all. This will be a posting mostly about me. What I have learned, what I am learning and what I need yet to learn, as I feel as though I’ve been “gathered around” this bedside for quite some time, perhaps standing here alone before the others arrived. I write this not to glorify myself—it’s NOT all about me, in fact, this is MUCH bigger than me, how big, I will never know until eternity. My intent is to glorify God alone. And to perhaps encourage you, the reader, as you join with me in remembering God’s faithfulness. A healthy look back spurs one to keep going; “for he himself has said, ‘Never will I leave thee, never will I forsake thee.’” My journal is full of quotes, phrases, songs and most of all, Scripture—words that have been a balm to my aching soul.
God will never allow any hurt into your life that cannot be used for eternity. –Beth Moore Bible Study
Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
The darker the night, the more glorious the sunrise. –“Friends of Israel” Speaker
Trials are for my “highest good” --James MacDonald, “God’s Amazing Love”
“Be kinder than necessary…for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle. Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly…leave the rest to God. Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.” --Suzan
(This one was what my children realized as they walked the halls of the hospital—everyone is hurting in some way.)
Matthew 10:29-31 “Not even one sparrow falls to the ground apart form God’s will…do not fear, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.” When we face difficult circumstances, fear may cause us to wonder if God is aware of our situation. Jesus’ teaching assures us that God cares deeply and is in control. His tracking of our lives will never fail. –Our Daily Bread, Jan 14, 2009
Psalm 46:1-3, 11 “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear…the Lord of hosts is here among us; the God of Israel is our refuge.”
“Blessed be your name in the land that is plentiful where your streams of abundance flow, blessed be your name. Blessed be your name when I’m found in the desert place though I walk through the wilderness, blessed be your name. Blessed be your name when the sun’s shining down on me, when the world’s all as it should be, blessed be your name. Blessed be your name on the road marked with suffering though there’s pain in the offering, blessed be your name. When the darkness closes in, Lord, still I will say, my heart will choose to say, Blessed Be Your Name!”
“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” Romans 12:12
Proverbs 3:5&6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your path.”
Focus not so much on the solution, but focus on the One who has the solution! --Rick Warren via Jenifer in S.S.
“Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith.” Heb 12:2
“Therefore we do not lose heart…so we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Cor. 4:16-18
Isaiah 30:15, 18 “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength…blessed are all who wait for Him.” {The exact Hebrew word translated trust in this verse appears only once in the O T. The word bitchah means “there is nothing more that one can do.” ---Beth Moore} I’ve obeyed, there’s nothing more I can do but to trust.
Habakkuk 3:17-19 “Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, YET I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights.”
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
"Love, Grammie"
How could two simple words elicit a flood of tears from me this morning? It was not what was said that brought the emotions, but what was NOT said that spoke volumes. The signature was simply and solely, “Love, Grammie.” The absence of Poppy’s name on my husband’s birthday card was glaringly evident and it hit me hard. Grief is unpredictable. It comes on its own timetable.
“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” Romans 12:12
“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” Romans 12:12
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
2/11/2009 dad back in the home
the home he is in, he is there because we have no other options. I
pray for another option.
Friday, February 6, 2009
A Rare Treasure (Posted By Kim Ferguson Anderson)
A Rare Treasure
Today was a rare treasure on this roller coaster of a ride. It was if someone had flipped a switch. From the agonizing thoughts on Tuesday of “Round 2. Here we go again. Is this how it will be from here on out??” to today of “will someone please tell me again what disease he has?” Dad has responded so well to hydration, the antibiotics and proper care at the hospital! Antics, laughing, joking, even thanking the nurses for their care in helping him to the bathroom! “Thank you, girls, I’d kiss everyone of you if I could!”
Thank you, God, for allowing me to see him like that today! It helps to
take the sting out of the harsh reality that I’m either becoming numb or adjusting to disconnecting from my emotions so that I can cope.What am I learning? In a nutshell? “Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, YET I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.” Habakkuk 3:17-18
Dad and Larry singing together tonight sums it up…
“Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee, How great Thou art, How great Thou art!”
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Family History - Posted by Kimberly (Ferguson) Anderson
Family history
My grandmother, Stella Victoria Myers married John Edward Ferguson in 1910 and gave birth to her first child, Anna Luella in 1911. She would be having babies for the next 25 years, giving the gift of life to 13 children in all. That fateful fall of 1936, Luella and Viola were already married, each having two boys of their own (Edgar Wilton born to Viola and Hollis in August and George Edward born to Luella and Dock in September of that year.) That left seven mouths to feed . Berta Zovadia, Charles Beachel (nearly 17), Joseph Hershel (15), John Estil, Mitchell Myers, Cora Ethel, Marshall (or Franklin Delano, as was his given name) not yet 3 years of age, were all at home. [Earnest Russell, first born son, died tragically 2 years before at age 1934, bleeding to death on the operating table as the doctor attempted to amputate his infected leg. Two other children had died as well, Edward J and Frances Ruth, neither living to see their second birthdays.
November 1, 1936, the Ferguson Home burned to the ground, forcing the family of 9 to seek refuge with Luella. Luella and Dock lived in the 2-room, “Annie White” House, already full with Wallace (age two) and newborn son, George. Twelve days after the fire, Ma-ma delivered her thirteenth baby, Virgil Garner, on November 13. November 14, 1936, Charles Beachel, who had just turned 17 on November 5, was shot and fatally wounded, dying the following day in a Dayton Doctor’s Office. On the day of the shooting, Beachel worked part of the day with Dock at…, came home to freshen up, put on a suit, sat down to play 3 sacred songs on the organ, bid his mother and one-day old baby brother good-bye and left. Since no eye-witnesses ever “told what they knew,” the truth of the events of that Saturday evening have gone to the grave with those who were present. [27-year-old Wesley Green was said to have threatened Beachel to not return to the restaurant where his young sister-in-law Lily waited tables and when he did, Wesley Green pulled a gun on Beachel and shot him in the side and back as he retreated. Beachel collapsed on the front porch of the establishment. My brother, Larry and I have seen the suit coat bearing the bullet holes and blood stains, preserved in Luella-fashion in her bedroom chifferobe.]
In the days surrounding those horrific events, both John and Joe left home, living with Viola and Luella, respectively.
Not even 18 months later, in April of 1938, Pa-pa suffered a stroke, that damaged the left side of his body. In June, that same year, Ma-ma also had a stroke, paralyzing her right side. The morning of her stroke, Ma-ma’s cow had gone dry and she was on her way to Luella’s. As she forced one foot in front of the other, the ground seemed distant. She managed to finish the 2 mile walk from her house to Luella’s, where, after collapsing on the porch, she would remain for the next six weeks, bed-ridden and unable to care for her family. The four youngest children, on hearing of their mother’s sudden illness, were sent to be nurtured once again under Luella’s care. As they made the trek to their big sister’s house, the four joined hands to travel the hot, dusty journey together.
My grandmother, Stella Victoria Myers married John Edward Ferguson in 1910 and gave birth to her first child, Anna Luella in 1911. She would be having babies for the next 25 years, giving the gift of life to 13 children in all. That fateful fall of 1936, Luella and Viola were already married, each having two boys of their own (Edgar Wilton born to Viola and Hollis in August and George Edward born to Luella and Dock in September of that year.) That left seven mouths to feed . Berta Zovadia, Charles Beachel (nearly 17), Joseph Hershel (15), John Estil, Mitchell Myers, Cora Ethel, Marshall (or Franklin Delano, as was his given name) not yet 3 years of age, were all at home. [Earnest Russell, first born son, died tragically 2 years before at age 1934, bleeding to death on the operating table as the doctor attempted to amputate his infected leg. Two other children had died as well, Edward J and Frances Ruth, neither living to see their second birthdays.
November 1, 1936, the Ferguson Home burned to the ground, forcing the family of 9 to seek refuge with Luella. Luella and Dock lived in the 2-room, “Annie White” House, already full with Wallace (age two) and newborn son, George. Twelve days after the fire, Ma-ma delivered her thirteenth baby, Virgil Garner, on November 13. November 14, 1936, Charles Beachel, who had just turned 17 on November 5, was shot and fatally wounded, dying the following day in a Dayton Doctor’s Office. On the day of the shooting, Beachel worked part of the day with Dock at…, came home to freshen up, put on a suit, sat down to play 3 sacred songs on the organ, bid his mother and one-day old baby brother good-bye and left. Since no eye-witnesses ever “told what they knew,” the truth of the events of that Saturday evening have gone to the grave with those who were present. [27-year-old Wesley Green was said to have threatened Beachel to not return to the restaurant where his young sister-in-law Lily waited tables and when he did, Wesley Green pulled a gun on Beachel and shot him in the side and back as he retreated. Beachel collapsed on the front porch of the establishment. My brother, Larry and I have seen the suit coat bearing the bullet holes and blood stains, preserved in Luella-fashion in her bedroom chifferobe.]
In the days surrounding those horrific events, both John and Joe left home, living with Viola and Luella, respectively.
Not even 18 months later, in April of 1938, Pa-pa suffered a stroke, that damaged the left side of his body. In June, that same year, Ma-ma also had a stroke, paralyzing her right side. The morning of her stroke, Ma-ma’s cow had gone dry and she was on her way to Luella’s. As she forced one foot in front of the other, the ground seemed distant. She managed to finish the 2 mile walk from her house to Luella’s, where, after collapsing on the porch, she would remain for the next six weeks, bed-ridden and unable to care for her family. The four youngest children, on hearing of their mother’s sudden illness, were sent to be nurtured once again under Luella’s care. As they made the trek to their big sister’s house, the four joined hands to travel the hot, dusty journey together.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
A Quiet Visit
ME:"Hi Dad How are you"
Dad:"I am okay"
ME:"What you been doing all day"
Dad:"I've been laying here sleeping"
ME:"Any thing happen to day?"
Dad:"Kim and Mom came and visited"
Me:"Do you want to see some Pictures"
Dad:"Yes"
Me:"Where are your glasses, oh I see there over her on the table Let me put them on"
Me:"Look do you know who this is?"
Dad Looks at a Picture of Mom
Me:"That's mom"
Dad:"Bless her heart"
Me:"She said to tell you that she loves you"
Me:"So how are you feeling?
Dad:"I am hanging on by my teeth"
Me:"Would you like me to read some scripture to you?"
Dad:"Yes"
Me:"I'll Read Palms 139"
O LORD, thou hast searched me, and known me. Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off. Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O LORD, thou knowest it altogether. Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it. Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence? If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there. If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me. If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me. Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to thee. For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them. How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee. Surely thou wilt slay the wicked, O God: depart from me therefore, ye bloody men. For they speak against thee wickedly, and thine enemies take thy name in vain. Do not I hate them, O LORD, that hate thee? and am not I grieved with those that rise up against thee? I hate them with perfect hatred: I count them mine enemies. Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
(Psa 139:1-24)
I finish reading and Dad is asleep.
I pray with dad
Me:"Lord Thank you for this man. Thank you have given us this many years together. I pray that you will take care of my Father. I pray that you will hold him"
I start to Cry, can't finish praying.
I gather myself.
Me:"I am leaving now, I'll be back tomorrow"
Dad wakes up.
Me:"I Love you Dad"
Dad:"I Love you too Son"
I kiss him on his Cheek
Dad:"If there is any way that I can help you just let me know and I will help you"
Me:"I know you will dad, I Know you will"
Me:"I'll be back tomorrow"
Dad back asleep, I leave the room quitely.
As I walk alone through the halls of the rest home, I silently ponder the visit.
Dad:"I am okay"
ME:"What you been doing all day"
Dad:"I've been laying here sleeping"
ME:"Any thing happen to day?"
Dad:"Kim and Mom came and visited"
Me:"Do you want to see some Pictures"
Dad:"Yes"
Me:"Where are your glasses, oh I see there over her on the table Let me put them on"
Me:"Look do you know who this is?"
Dad Looks at a Picture of Mom
Me:"That's mom"
Dad:"Bless her heart"
Me:"She said to tell you that she loves you"
Me:"So how are you feeling?
Dad:"I am hanging on by my teeth"
Me:"Would you like me to read some scripture to you?"
Dad:"Yes"
Me:"I'll Read Palms 139"
(Psa 139:1-24)
I finish reading and Dad is asleep.
I pray with dad
Me:"Lord Thank you for this man. Thank you have given us this many years together. I pray that you will take care of my Father. I pray that you will hold him"
I start to Cry, can't finish praying.
I gather myself.
Me:"I am leaving now, I'll be back tomorrow"
Dad wakes up.
Me:"I Love you Dad"
Dad:"I Love you too Son"
I kiss him on his Cheek
Dad:"If there is any way that I can help you just let me know and I will help you"
Me:"I know you will dad, I Know you will"
Me:"I'll be back tomorrow"
Dad back asleep, I leave the room quitely.
As I walk alone through the halls of the rest home, I silently ponder the visit.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Posted By Kimberly (Ferguson) Anderson
Dear Praying friends,
January 15, 2009. My mom’s 72nd birthday. The day I dreaded for 3 years. The day, after Dad spending 10 days in the hospital, we were forced to place our beloved father and my mother’s sweetheart of more than 50 years in a dementia unit at a skilled nursing facility. My brothers and our families were together last night to support each other, cry and pray. I was honestly quite surprised at how hard everyone was taking it. I thought I was the only one grieving! I am learning that although Dad’s body is still with us and occasionally we see glimpses of the generous man that he was (“how much money do you need for gas?” he asked me at the hospital in a lucid moment ), he is fading quickly and slipping away to a place where none of us can reach him.
I am reminded this morning that Dad is never out of the reach of God’s loving hands. And although we are seeing the dreadful effects of sin and death ravaged upon this man, the victory in all of this is that God reigns!
“Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” Psalm 46:10
Please continue to uphold us in prayer. I would ask for continued strength for Mom (and the rest of us) and peace for Dad’s mind, body and spirit. And also for wisdom for Peter and me as we help our children through this journey. They love their Poppy very much!
Here are the words of the chorus to Dad’s favorite hymn, its truth brings me comfort…
No one ever cared for me like Jesus,
There’s no other friend so kind as He;
No one else could take the sin and darkness from me—
O how much he cares for me!
No One Ever Cared for Me Like Jesus
by: Charles F. Weigle
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