Brothers

2007 was the last year that Dad was able to make it to the family reunion. Uncle Joe gave me this picture of him and Dad overseas, most likely Japan, as that was where Dad was stationed. The date on the back of the photo says August, 1955.
Joseph Hershel Ferguson died September 23, 2009.

Grief

Grief is a strange thing, mourning the passing of a loved one comes in unpredictable stages and phases. How does grief affect someone with dementia? That is the unanswerable question. Dad has suffered two loses within one week, his mother-in-law, Iva Berkheimer, has reached her heavenly home after 96 years. And Dad's oldest living brother, Joseph Hershel Ferguson, has passed away in California. As Dad has commented countless times, "we are going down the valley one by one."

Mystery

Today's visit is another reminder to me that the brain (and this disease) is a mystery. I am cautiously optimistic whenever I visit and see that Dad is alert and verbal. He was sitting up in his old recliner and my mind tried to fool itself into thinking that nothing was wrong with Dad, from this snapshot in my mind's eye. Today he actually called out for Carly (calling her "Goldilocks" just like old times). Before today (in my visits for over a month), he hasn't initiated any conversation. I didn't think that he still could! He heard mom say something about "chat" and he stopped her and said, "who had an attack?" If my conclusions are correct, his brain is slowing down to the point that it takes him so long to formulate a response to a question and while he is processing it, he loses concentration or forgets what he wants to say. So why did he have NOTHING to say when his nephew Randy visited two and a half weeks ago? (In the entire two hours, Dad might have said his name once.) And today he comes up with "Now my kids are all here. When the kids are all here, everything is OK." I just have to be thankful to have these short sentences from him and not try to figure out what makes him better on some days than others--that will remain a mystery.

Banana pudding and Yankee Doodle